Is Revenge really "A Dish Best Served Cold"?

BabyRS SG

"Revenge is an act of passion; vengeance of justice. Injuries are revenged; crimes are avenged."
~ Samuel Johnson

Why are some people so hell bent on getting revenge?

I do admit... we are humans, and our sense and sensibility often clash in life, but there are some who will do just about anything to satisfy their need to see someone get back what is deemed deserving for a past action.

Is it just a need to sate our moral intuitions? Will it make us happier to see the person suffer in return?

In truth, if we do not express anger and moral outrage at evil, something is very wrong with us. To not feel anger at an injustice will make us saints by any means... and I know that most of us are incapable of reigning in our emotions. Most of the time, it takes all of my willpower to remind myself that "Two wrongs don't make a right"; but not carrying out the action does not diminish the fact that the thought IS there.

How far will you go?

the Bear SG

i haven't any idea..

never been one for the need of vengence... even when terrible wrongs have been done on me, i never had the slightest urge to "get even", so.. does that make me odd?

i dunno.. i met someone who had an almost pathological need to get even with everyone who hurt her... or she thought had hurt her.. so after a while, it was clear that she was paranoid and neurotic.. and very very scary...

i would think the need for vengence in her, coupled by that neurosis, would turn her into a bitter and angry person...

so, ultimately, is it worth it? to lose yourself just to feel some insane need to "get even"?

i don't think so...

a dish served cold.. maybe it would be a good movie where the consequences of the action only results in... a sequel!

but in real life, alas.. let the one who wronged you go his way... could it be that i'm secretly a believer in karma because i believe what goes around, comes around?

revenge.. i would say it is a dish served cold to some, to some, it is something they feel they are honour-bound to partake in.. but in the end, is it just vanity? or worse?

ahh... i've ranted on too much...

thank you baby, for your wonderful insights and i do hope to be able to read more of them Very Happy

Cenarious SG

Revenge can deter others from doing the same thing in future.

BabyRS SG

There are those who will object: " Isn't retribution just a pretext for vengeance and our impulses?" For example... in politics - there are some countries who retaliate in the name of justice. "We shall not let them trample all over us - let's go to war! They shall get what they deserve!" Isn't the basis of that simply wanting to exact vengeance? Is it actually possible, in reality - to distinguish between vengeance and retribution?

Seriously though... between our doubts and cynicisms - there are several ways that retribution can be deemed to be different from revenge / vengeance.

1. Revenge often has a "face". It usually rears its ugly head when there is a tangible action done - when we are able to see and feel the consequences of another's actions. Retribution (or karma), however, usually addresses an "objective" wrong.

2. Revenge has no limits. There is no telling how far a person will go to avenge himself. Retribution has both upper and lower limits. We do not punish equally... and who is to say that someone got what he deserved in deference to his actions?

3. Vengeance is subject to our own satisfaction. It delights in seeing someone hurt or come to harm to answer for his past misdeeds. Retribution leans more toward "for the greater good of all". It takes no pleasure in punishing to sate an inner need - it does so because it needs to have a detterent effect on the wrongdoer.

4. someone who partakes in revenge is doing so to "retaliate" against an injustice done, whereas retribution seeks impartial justice and demands fairness on all accounts. (depicted in a blindfolded Lady Justice)

Revenge is in all accounts - a short lived pleasure; but it does come as a 'closure' to perhaps a deep seated, long term simmering displeasure.

The pleasure's all mine... and thank you for taking the time to read, respond and broaden my views. Very Happy

OasisBlue SG

wad u mean? care to explain?

SingaporeMacross SG

it is not wrong to be angry with injustice. the question is how you deal with it, that’s all.

DriftingGuy SG

Why do we seek revenge? If a person seeks revenge, he will inflict upon someone what he felt was unjust and was previously inflicted upon him by that someone or fire with fire.

I remembered coming across an article by a psychiatrist who said that revenge is done because the distressed person feels that the object of his revenge was unsympathetic to his condition/situation. So if he had revenge, it is to make that person "see the error of his ways" or ultimately empathize with his situation so that he wont do it again.

But in reality is the person seeking revenge really seeking to right a wrong? Is the vengeance taken really = to the injustice suffered? Revenge is greatly emotion controlled and rarely listens to logic. Blinded by fury and vengeance, i wont consider whether what i am going to do will be equal in treatment or result... most likely i will add in extra damage or injury..

Revenge begets revenge. The cycle never ends. I am under the personal belief that whatever you do to others will come around, even if its not from the same person you did to. The best form of revenge to me is to live well, but then again its hard Cool

the Bear SG

imagine a person who avenges everything, real or imagined..

you don't know what goes on in the paranoid mind and the next thing you know, the person has "exacted revenge" on you!

isn't that scary?

BabyRS SG

I think the extent we would go to have the person get a taste of his own medicine would be measured by how affected we are by what he / she did, and who is involved.

It would be simpler and easier to dismiss a bitchy colleague at work, rather than if we were to be faced with someone who has harmed our loved ones, for e.g. I KNOW I will never let anyone who even has a thought of harming any of my family members off. Not that my conscience would have any say. It's wrong... and supposing that the deed has been done, there is nothing in the world that would right that wrong, but I am not sure that I am 'noble' or forgiving enough to not see at least some form of payback for the action.

Revenge is done to satisfy a personal vendetta, rather than to right a wrong.

We HAVE a choice when it comes to revenge. It's pretty much circumstantial.

dakkon_blackblade SG

Very often, when someone does me wrong, in the heat of the moment, I’ll think of ways to revenge. But in the end I almost always never do it, as the effort is just not worth it. They say that “Jun Zi Bao Chou, Shi Nian Bu Wan” (rough translation: It’s never too late for revenge”, but I think anger and hatred just take too much effort to hold in the heart. It’s better to let go and relax and get on with your life without thinking about how to ruin others’ lives.

The man who was death SG

finally something short and sweet Mr. Green

of course must try to get back if someone done u wrong cos no use just being angry, as they say, dun get mad, get even.

u get mad the person more happy only, and the person more happy the more u unhappy and want revenge

elindra SG

I believe in karma Laughing

Parka SG

For those so bent on revenge, do yourself a favour and watch "American History X"

Rhonda SG

I believe in Divine Justice! Wink

As you know, someone recently did something so nasty to me, it took me by complete shock and for a few days thereafter, I was out of sorts.

After the initial shock wore off, I quietly contemplated the issue and somehow, instead of actively plotting revenge, I felt the best thing to do would be to leave it to God, who definitely saw the injustice, and in His time, in His way, will set things right.

I'm kinda too lazy to plot for revenge, and I know too well how anger and all that can slowly wear your spirit down. Razz

I'm slowly closing one chapter of my life, and moving on to a new life. And what I definitely wouldn't want to carry along with me, are burdensome baggages like bad memories, negative emotions, and insincere 'friends', etc. What does not make a positive contribution in my life, gets trashed before I embark on my new journey. Wink

So, revenge? Nah... better to react with apathy at worst, kindness at best. Razz Better to let God handle all these things instead of taking things into our own hands!

ShrodingersCat SG

yeah... laziness is one big obstacle to planning revenge.. your anger needs to have stamina one... and.. like my jogging.. my anger doesn't have much stamina...

Have I ever 'revenged' myself on someone? Well, ahh I confess I have been mean before, to people who were mean to me. But most of the time its angry little impulses that got out of hand rather than premeditated.

I think people who spend too much time thinking of revenge usually have nothing better to do.

Rhonda SG

Laughing Yeah, I have little stamina too! Embarassed Plotting revenge is too time-consuming and it sucks up a lotta your energy too! Razz Not to mention, you're inviting ill-karma on yourself! Razz Better not! Life's hard enough without that extra bad karma!

And you're right... a lot of times, we will react by being mean back. I guess it is natural to experience anger, frustration, disappointment, etc. and then the first impulse is to give the offending party a 'taste of their own medicine'.

But most of us, whether we succumb to that desire or not, will sooner or later come to realise that it's best to just let go and move on. Razz

I'm no angel, and I have done stuff before that I'm not proud of. Embarassed But oh well, life goes on, I've learnt, and hopefully, will not repeat the same mistakes again!

Mr. Green

NewAge SG

Like Gandi said " if an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth happen soon the whole world will be toothless and with black eyes"

The line between revenge and vengence is very thin. Both is done to right something that is wrong. But the extent of the punishment is different. Most ppl view both as making the person who did u wrong experience the same process that u have gone through. The true spirit of revenge is not this, its something greater.

The true spirit is not to harm someone to satisfy one emotion but to stop the person from repeating the same act on another. I believe that satisfying one emotional need will then cross the line to vengence. For example A hit B once. B hit back twice. Isn't telling A off and showing displeasure enough to prevent A from hitting B or someone else. Futhermore why is there the need to add another hit. When A start to reflect on his deed he will feel guilty and might even tell himself to treat B better next time if B have not hit A back. However if B hit back A will feel that hes sufficiently punish and might repeat the same mistake

Everyone has a conscious that will torment a person after he did something wrong. Revenge must be suffcient to make one repent but one must always remember to not cross the line and vent your anger.

Rhonda SG

It's easy to discuss revenge on a philosophical level when we're cool-headed and relaxed. Laughing

I think the true test lies when we get antagonised and provoked, and then the true Nellie monster rears its ugly head and goes on a rampage!

Twisted Evil

BabyRS SG

I couldn't have said it better myself.

It's funny how sometimes, people who are usually the epitome of clear headedness can be driven to do the scariest things when it comes to vengeance and seeking 'justice' if only to satisfy their need to make someone pay.

I'm sure all of us, whilst we are here discussing the ill effects of revenge and why we should not succumb to it, know and understand that the act and intention of revenge would not solve anything. It would not reverse what had initially happened - and at the end of the day, it may take way too much personal sacrifices to plot and carry out the action in the grand scheme of things.

Everything looks good on paper (or screen) - but when it comes to life itself, very rarely are we able to be level headed and control our emotions. I guess what stops most of us from actually taking the reigns on vengeance - is simply the repercussions that would come along with it.

DriftingGuy SG

And I believe that personal vendetta stems from a personal urge to right a wrong.. ultimately whether it is to make that person suffer what the distressed individual has went through or more, it doesnt matter..

Yeah, I agree we have a choice when it comes to revenge. But are we cool-headed enough to make that choice? A lot of revenge killings/ vengeful actions were made because our emotions have made that choice for us instead of the head.